IDEATRON see what gabe thinks.

In the spirit of Easter, Bored has returned from the great beyond to bestow blessings upon all mankind. SOME things require more than three days’ preparation, especially in the absence of divine assistance, so, YES; seven and a half months is EXACTLY how long it takes to prepare for the upcoming week. Protest ye not, for The Ideatron always resurrects at its earliest possible convenience.

LO! For each of the next SEVEN DAYS, which equals ONE WEEK, I will demonstrate how I have or have not “lost my touch” by serving up a brand new blog entry brimming with what may arguably be called “content.” This should be quite a feat considering I have only planned out ONE of them… But it is the most important one: ON THE SEVENTH DAY, WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS RESTING, A GREAT ANNOUNCEMENT SHALL COME FORTH FROM THE IDEATRON. What I am saying is this week will be awesome.

For my first act, and for the sake of self-gratification, here are all the things I have been doing for the past 62.5% of a year instead of getting all bloggy:

DIRECTING CREATIVE BEST 08 [the greatest event in the history of civilized humanity]

CONCEIVING A HUMAN [a close second JUST KIDDING WIFE]

PUSHING LANE AVE APPAREL [chic attire for you to buy]

GETTING VIRTUALLY BEAT UP FOR A FAKE LOGO DESIGN [really fake]

FERTILIZING MY LAWN [to surpass the status quo]

WINNING SOCCER CHAMPIONSHIPS [yes, plural]

GETTING REALLY SICK AGAIN [January conspires with Flonase annually]

See ya tomorrow suckers! (If you have any ideas for what I can write about please post in the comments section below. Please.).

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my duty to announce that I am preoccupied until November. This blog will suffer. It will feel neglected, then become thirsty, then hungry, then scavenge on what little it can find. It will wither and collapse into a slumbery coma, when suddenly, through the cold night, I will once again appear on my glittering stallion to save the day and revive this emaciated creature to full health.

In reality I am busy working on this:

It’s a competition for designers, writers, illustrators and photographers. Deadline for submissions is SEPTEMBER 18 so GET ENTERED.

Get more info at cscarts.org

VERBAL VAMPIRISM

If you say an idea and someone kills it, then resurrects it to serve their own dark purposes a couple of days later, they’re a verbal vampire. Once an idea turns vampiric, there is almost no way to re-kill it. Ironically, vampire ideas are the ONLY ideas that see the light of day.

Because immortality is truly a curse, verbal vampirism = no.

You can now buy BORED sketchbooks on Etsy. About time?

Check us out. And heart us.

2 STEPS AT A TIME

I have to walk well over 100 steps every day just to get from my parking lot to the office. If there is one thing I have learned from this, it’s that leaping two of those effers at a time is one of the most satisfying things a human being can do, for a cornucopia of reasons: 1) you get where you’re going faster, 2) you get a little exercise, 3) you feel more accomplished than the average, single-step taker, 4) to others, you appear either in a hurry (important) or like a little kid (awesome), and 5) you reduce your carbon footprint by literally making fewer footprints*.

Because single steps are so… unsatisfying: 2 steps at a time = yes.

*disputed

TRASHCAN FORCEFIELDS

It seems like about 40% of the things I try to throw away miss. I am not good at basketball, but I would be if I was 50 feet tall, which is the approximate proportion of me to the average trashcan. I should not miss this much, but somehow my garbage often hits the rim of the can, or goes into the can (victory) only to impact another object and ricochet to no-man’s land (defeat). And throwing away sheets of paper? God, I must have about a 4% win rate in this arena. I am convinced there is no reliable way to throw or drop a sheet of paper into a trashcan successfully. Just try your best and prepare to be infuriated.

There’s only one way to explain this phenomena, and trashcan forcefields = no.

What it means: [???]

What you’re really saying: [???]

When to say it: Apparently when you’re delivering my pizza.

WHAT YOU MEAN/WHAT YOU’RE SAYIN’

Sometimes your conversation partner gets lost in his or her own world. You want to understand why she had to break the cat’s leg to save it; or how he ended the engagement because she was just, like, pissing him off all the time; or how the hundreds of other invisible, parallel dimensions totally explain ghosts, dreams, UFOs, religion, consciousness, and like, all that stuff, no, seriously, it’s like, totally possible, he saw it on Discovery; but… it’s complicated. Just remember, moments like this are what make you a great friend, because you know what he/she’s sayin’.

Now, if I may be bold, please consider my opinion: Anytime someone asks, “Know what I’m sayin’?” or “Know what I mean?”, they know you probably don’t, because even they know what they just said was impossible to follow. Simply reply, “No yeah totally,” and move on.

Because there is no possible way I could: what you mean/what you’re sayin’ = no.

We’re giving away our secrets!

Click here to see how we made our Original Edition of sketchbooks.

Click here to see how we made the Leimgruber Superspecial Edition of sketchbooks.

The Leimgruber Superspecial Edition is featured on NOTCOT!

Check it out, and click the heart because you love it.