IDEATRON see what gabe thinks.

THE MIGRAINE

I had ideas for what to write today but I have been battling the residual effects of a migraine, mainly staring into space and taking Advil. AND THOUGH I AM HALFASSING MY BLOG, I AM WINNING THE WAR. WITH EVERY NEW VOLLEY INTO MY CRANIAL ARENA, I WELCOME THE MIGRAINE, FOR NOTHING BRINGS ME MORE JOY THAN TO SLAY IT.

One thing I shall never cease to believe is that every migraine I have is a result of my brain expanding into new capabilities. Pain? HA, I laugh. A few hundred more migraines and I will be able to read your mind. WELL WORTH IT.

Because it must know its worst attack is so insignificant I haughtily look forward to the next—migraine = yes.

THESE DIAGONAL LINES I PUT EVERYWHERE

I don’t know why, I just like them OK so these diagonal lines I put everywhere = yes.

SHARKS

They look like monsters and they never stop moving their entire life. They kill in 3 dimensions. They are awesome to draw and have nightmares about. They rake in millions at the box office. I am friends with a lot of them and they are all cool and nice. The shark is the only animal I can think of that is often referred to as a “machine” (killing and eating, popularly). They are so dangerous they retro-evolved a warning fin so that they wouldn’t cause every other species to go extinct by eating them. They can hear 3 miles inland and understand most Romance languages. They are infinitely better than horses. In fact they are the best animal.

Seriously, look at all the blood: sharks = yes.

2 STEPS AT A TIME

I have to walk well over 100 steps every day just to get from my parking lot to the office. If there is one thing I have learned from this, it’s that leaping two of those effers at a time is one of the most satisfying things a human being can do, for a cornucopia of reasons: 1) you get where you’re going faster, 2) you get a little exercise, 3) you feel more accomplished than the average, single-step taker, 4) to others, you appear either in a hurry (important) or like a little kid (awesome), and 5) you reduce your carbon footprint by literally making fewer footprints*.

Because single steps are so… unsatisfying: 2 steps at a time = yes.

*disputed

OLED

What would a TV handed down from atop Mount Olympus by Zeus himself look like? Behold, mortal: a screen 3mm thick that’s feather light and bendable! A picture contrast so freaking pristine, instruments capable of measuring it don’t even exist! A remote that shoots out bolts of divine wrath*! Smaller OLEDs like the Sony pictured above will cost around $2,000 at launch, plus one goat sacrifice*. Because it makes me want to run my current TV over with a battle chariot, OLED = yes.

*Lie.

LONGSHOTS

Now, just because I’m saying longshots are good doesn’t mean you should bring your three-legged greyhound out of retirement for “one more race”. Always weigh your risk before poking at the fat chance… in business, Vegas or anywhere. That said, there’s not much more validating than taking a chance on an idea that “will never work” and coming out a millionaire. Or a thousandaire. Or just happy. So if you’re smart about it, longshots = yes.

DOWN COMFORTER

I understand this item can be expensive. But when you’re embraced by the warmth of a thousand smiling suns, financial issues are relegated to out there while you savor the impregnable joy of life in here. My down comforter is the only thing that kept me alive during my difficult (couldn’t yawn) tonsillectomy recovery. It keeps you alive. What better reason is needed to declare down comforter = yes?